Choose Your Own Adventure

You all know the Choose Your Own Adventure books....where you can turn to page 45 for one ending or 56 for a differently possible ending.  Don't we wish our lives were like that?  When something happens we don't want to walk through.... we want to scream.....WAIT!  God, please choose page 56!  Well....that's not how it works...is it?

God has really spoken to me these last couple days and softened my heart to release my need to know the ending of different adventures in my life.  He has walked me back through previous "adventures" that, at the time, I didn't think the right ending was picked and I defintely didn't think I would make it through.

In the Bible, God tells the Israelites to choose twelve stones from the Jordan River after they cross as a memorial to remind them what God did for them by stopping the Jordan River and allowing them to cross.  God has asked me, too, to pick out my stones of remembrance.  It has brought peace back to my heart by remembering all the ways that God has been with me. 

My stones.....

2002
God was with me in a little house in Norman, Oklahoma on October 27 when I asked Him into my life.  He had been working on my heart since June of that year when I moved out to Oklahoma.  God knew I needed to move to Oklahoma to meet Him.  God knew I'd need my cousin Sarah.  He knew.

2004
God walked with me through the hardest days imaginalbe when we lost my sister Vicky.  I was a baby Christian and I thought that praying, annointing with oil would work 100% of the time.  I was confused when it didn't, but God walked with me.  He walked with all of us during that pain.  He would be with me when the song that was used at her remembrance ceremony, "I Can Only Imagine, " came on the radio as my sister, Carrie and I drove out to Ithaca later that year.  We missed her and God knew we needed that song.  We didn't say a word to each other...we just wept.

2005
God knew what he was doing when he brought me back to NY to start Graduate school at SUNY Cortland.  In my mind, I was never going to live in NY again, but rather someplace warmer, more artsy, well you get the picture.  But God knew what I would need to do.

2006
God was with me during what I call the year the light went out.  It was this year that I was diagnosed with "anxiety and depression."   Mainly because I hadn't delt with the fact that my idea of how my adventure should end didn't happen.  In my adventure Vicky should still be alive and I should be somewhere else. 

God was with me when my brother came to stay with me in Cortland.  He brought supplies to paint with, thinking it would help me to get my mind on creating beautiful things.  God was with me as we sat there that night with each brush stroke creating hope in my eyes, despite the tears.  A little secret if you didn't know already....my brother is a wonderful artist. 

He was also with me during the time that Carrie stayed over for the weekend.  We were playing Yahtzee and I had rolled three one's.  During my last roll I did't know that my sister had prayed, God, if my sister gets two one's I really think she is going to be okay.  I rolled the one's.  Yahtzee.  Carrie started crying and when she shared with me the reason why....I cried .....we hugged each other tight

He was with me as I read each card my mom sent reminding me...do not give up, I love you.

He was with me when I couldn't sleep and I was so scared.  He was with me as I met with a counselor and sorted out the darkness.  He was with me.

2007
I was still healing when God's grace helped me to finish graduate school in May of 2007.  I met a great friend there...Missy Chrystie.  Somehow God knew that I would need her way in advance, so He picked us both to get interviews at Oxford Primary School....which, but the way, was only 10 minutes from where I grew up.  You might remember in my version of the adventure I wouldn't have dreamed of living so close to home.  But God knew.  So we both interviewed and God was with me as a I walked into a room full of people for my first interview.  He was with me when I taught a class of students I didn't know and He was with me when I got the call from the principal offering me the job.  Missy got the job too.  Finally, tears of joy! 

2008
God was with me when I learned that I would be another inclusion room in Third Grade.  I was nervous, but God has given me a great friend through it all...Paige LaVine.  He knew I'd need her.

2009
He was with me when all of my duds finally turned into a "stud" (haha!) and Josh and I started dating.  He was with me.

2010
He was with me as Josh and I commited to choosing God's adventure for our lives on October 23rd.  We vowed to love God and each other, no matter what. 

2012
He has been with me this fall as I've walked through some hard parts of my adventure.  If you read my last post... you know what I mean.  But, He has given me so many people who I feel His love through.  Remember my friend Missy who I went to Grad school with?  God knew I would need her, especially this year, so we both are in Third Grade together.  God knew I would need her to help me smile on the good and bad days.  He has also given me Paige like I said before.  These two are like sisters to me.  God knew I'd need them, especially these past few months.  He knew I'd need Josh, too.  His encouragement, love and commitment.  God has given me a husband that I never could have chosen myself and God is with us each step of the way.  My in-laws, other friends...I could go on and on with the ways He has shown his love.  He loves us.

And....

I know God will be with me no matter what other mountains or valleys come my way.  In each case they make me stronger if I let them.  I need to make a daily choice to say....God, the adventure is Yours.





When all the people had crossed the Jordan, the Lord said to Joshua, ² “Now choose twelve men, one from each tribe. ³ Tell them, ‘Take twelve stones from the very place where the priests are standing in the middle of the Jordan. Carry them out and pile them up at the place where you will camp tonight.’” ⁴ So Joshua called together the twelve men he had chosen—one from each of the tribes of Israel. ⁵ He told them, “Go into the middle of the Jordan, in front of the Ark of the Lord your God. Each of you must pick up one stone and carry it out on your shoulder—twelve stones in all, one for each of the twelve tribes of Israel. ⁶ We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future your children will ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ ⁷ Then you can tell them, ‘They remind us that the Jordan River stopped flowing when the Ark of the Lord’s Covenant went across.’ These stones will stand as a memorial among the people of Israel forever.”  Joshua 4:1-7