So, though there have been a few bursts where I have spent a lot of time with people, I have mostly spent time with me. alone. all by myself (cue the music). At first I felt an uneasiness in my soul. I don't like being alone for long periods of time so it was a very different feeling. Don't get me wrong, as an introvert, I love alone time...but not that much. So my FOMO (fear of missing out) was on the brink until I felt like God whispered to me.... you have to be okay with yourself enough to be alone. What?! And in what seemed liked an after school special aha moment, I realized what that meant. Be with yourself and be okay with it. I started to realize that I had left a lot of my identity in who I was hanging out with, where I was going, who I was helping, impacting, changing, encouraging, etc. If I wasn't busy doing something, with someone, for someone, I was not okay. I was very clingy and no amount of bounce could cure it. Let's be honest. No one likes clingy. #saynotocling
So my summer days became a discovery in learning to appreciate exactly who I was, where I was. Not in an egotistical way, but in a "Mel, you have a lot of good, but you also have broken parts and that's okay" kinda way. When you free up yourself to have an honest look into your heart and mind and accept yourself, it spills out and you have a new sense of calm with other relationships too. You give yourself the job of making you happy and understand that other people and experience are bonuses!
Now, don't think I have turned into a true hermit or anything, although many of you know that I do joke about it and might just excel at that lifestyle. heh. I have just realized again the importance of alone time and the fact that being disconnected sometimes is okay! Really! My FOMO has gone to the wayside and I have learned to love the moment that I am in, instead of wanting to be somewhere else.
So here's to all of us enjoying the last bit of summer as much as we can! Love you all :)
